1. You unwrap all gifts very carefully, so you can save and reuse the wrapping (and especially those bows) next year.
2. When there is a sale on toilet paper, you buy 100 rolls and store them in your closet or in the bedroom of an adult child who has moved out.
3. You have a vinyl table cloth on your kitchen table.
4. You use grocery bags to hold garbage.
5. You have tupperware in your fridge with three bites of rice or 1 leftover chicken wing.
6. You don’t own any real tupperware-only a cupboard full of used, but carefully rinsed, margarine tubs, takeout containers, and jam jars.
7. You carry a stash of your own food whenever you travel (and travel means any car ride
longer than 15 minutes).
8. You own a rice cooker or a pressure cooker.
9. You fight over who pays the dinner bill.
10. You majored in engineering, medicine or computers.
11. You live with your parents and you are 30 your parents, or at least in the same
12. You don’t use measuring cups.
13. You feel like you’ve gotten a good deal if you didn’t pay tax.
14. Your parents’ house is always cold.
15. You reuse teabags.
16. You have a drawer full of old pens, most of which don’t write anymore.
17. You only make long distance calls after 11p.m.
18. If you don’t live at home, when your parents call, they ask if you’ve eaten, even if it’s
19. Your parents never go to the movies.
20. You call an older person you never met before “uncle.”
21. The first thing uncle asks you is “where are your parents from?”
22. When your parents meet strangers and talk for a few minutes, you discover you’re talking
to a distant cousin.
23. No one you’re related to is a music major.
24a. You avoid hotels, especially if there is an aquaintance within a 250 km radius of your
24b. You sleep on their floor.
25. Your parents don’t realize phone connections to foreign countries have improved in the last
two decades, and still scream at the top of their lungs.
26. When our fathers get together, no matter what the topic is, each man is an expert, especially after the customary 8 glasses of scotch, each stronger than the one before.
27. You drive 2 hours and spend a whole day to get a complementary cutlery set for listening to
a sales pitch on vacation timeshares.
28. You have bedsheets on your sofas.
29. When dining out, your parents think R6 is enough of a tip.
30. You know someone who owns a hotel or a convenience store.
31. It’s embarrassing if your wedding has less than 600 people.
32. You list your daughter as “fair and slim” in the matrimonials no matter what she looks like.
33. You’ve seen the ground while inside the lavatory of a train.
34. All your tupperware is stained with food color.
35. You have drinking glasses made of steel, the rim of which can cut your mouth if you’re not
36. You have a plastic rug-runner going down your hallway at home.
37. There’s a pungent odor of spices as one enters your home.
38. You pack a suitcase full of toilet paper when visiting India.